Love Language; sialivingafrica valentine's day Editorial feature

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Real love — this kind of love is emotional but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”

 

People expresses their love in diverse ways. However, we cannot deny the fact that there are a few basic universal love language expressions, we all seek in our romantic and even platonic relationships. Learning to understand your partner's love language may help improve communication and strengthen your relationship.

Love language refers to the way a person prefers to express love to and receive it from- a partner. It was coined by Dr. Gary Chapman, who proposed that there are five specific love languages:-

1. Act of service 

Performing actions that makes your partner feel loved and appreciated, such as helping with chores or doing errands without being asked to.

"I appreciate acts of service because they serve as a beautiful reminder that someone is actively looking out for me, expressing care in the smallest details. It's heartwarming to feel noticed and cherished."

"I express love to my partner through acts of service. I find joy in preparing special dishes for my partner and witnessing their joy when savoring every bit of the meal. I also take pride in alleviating my partner's stress by handling little things – preparing a lunch box, organizing their space, ensuring their devices are charged, or assisting with tasks when they have a busy schedule.

On the other hand, I would love my partner to assist with chores, cook with me, and assist with the kids."

K, Lagos, Nigeria 

2. Giving gifts

Giving thoughtful presents to your partner. these can be small tokens or bigger items.

"l'll start with a story about how a kind gesture stood out for me. It was Valentine's Day in 2020, and I received a call from a dispatch rider informing me of a delivery. My friend had surprised me with beautiful branded stickers for my business, and it genuinely struck a chord within me. At that time, my business didn't have any branded items. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for me".

Gift-giving is one of the most common love languages, but in my opinion, it seems to be losing its magic in today's world. Each year, Valentine's Day gifting reaches new heights, often becoming a competition where it's alot more about outdoing the next person each year and people now see gifting as a medium to ‘press necks” with outrageous and sometimes wasteful valentines gifts.

I believe we need to reflect on the true meaning of gift-giving.A gift is most appreciated when it's thoughtful, not necessarily when it's extravagant,We need to move away from the idea that bigger is always better and focus on giving genuine" gifts that touch the heart.

Olawunmi, Lagos, Nigeria 

3. Quality time

Spending time with your partner and giving them your undivided attention. We feel most loved when we spending meaningful focused time with our partner.

"For me quality time means, intentionally picking out movies we'd watch for the night making meals together, eating from the same plate or doing our favourite hobbies side by side in comfortable harmony. This is the time I would call the "us" time, you know, just you and the boo *wink*.

Gbemisola, Lagos, Nigeria

4. Words of affirmation: 

Some of us appreciate giving and receiving kind words, through compliments, praise, cheerleading and other verbal expression of support and admiration.

"Just a little more time, all will be well". It's not much, but that's what I tell my partner sometimes. However when my partner tells me these words "No matter the circumstances, I will always love, cherish and respect you" it makes me feel really loved and appreciated, and I do not take it for granted.

Yetunde, Lagos, Nigeria.

5. Physical touch

You prefer to bond through Kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling and having sex with your partner.

"As modest, shy and introverted as I am, I love- love physical touches and PDAs. Infact I am a sucker for it (public and private display of affection.) I like my partner all over me, not in a creepy or overly weird way though!

Kenny, Abuja, Nigeria.

What is your love language? Dolet us know in the comment section.

Article by: Gbemisola Akinwale
Interior stylist & Lifestyle + Design writer